(Where football meets church theology)
Now that we’re in football season, a more lighthearted message this month. Enjoy!
1. DRAFT CHOICE: The decision is to sit close to a heating vent in the winter, or the air-conditioning vent in the summer.
2. END ZONE: Sitting in the back pew all by yourself.
3. THREE POINT STANCE: Being present for worship, on time, and with your Bible in hand.
4. PASS INTERCEPTION: What mama does when she sees her son Billy trying to pass a note to Susie in church.
5. IN THE POCKET: Where some potential church offerings can be found.
6. TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the council president points to his watch if the pastor’s sermon is going too long.
7. QB SNEAK: When the council president slips into the worship service late.
8. BENCH WARMER: An inactive member.
9. FUMBLE: A lousy sermon!
10. PUNT: What the pastor does when the sermon isn’t working.
11. EXTRA POINT: What you receive when you tell the pastor his sermon was a touchdown.
12. CHEERLEADERS: Ladies who compliment the pastor on his sermon.
13. QUARTERBACK: What some worshipers want when they put 50 cents in the offering plate.
14. TACKLE: What an alert usher does when a child tries to sneak out of the service.
15. RUNNING BACKS: Children who keep running back and forth, in and out of the service.
16. TOUCHDOWN: When attendance and giving records are broken.
17. WIDE RECEIVERS: Overweight ushers who squeeze down the aisle while receiving the offering.
18. PENALTY FLAG: What the church gets when its members stay home.
19. ILLEGAL MOTION: Leaving before the final blessing.
20. SUPER BOWL CHAMPION: A church doing the will of God!